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Because of the way the BBC configure their news videos, you will hear the "Look East" video start automatically when this page loads. If you'd rather wait to see and hear this when you (eventually!) get to the bottom of this page, scroll down now and pause it!
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Future Events:
Wed 19th November - Testicle talk at the New York Stock Exchange(London)
February 2009 - Testicle Talk for the Chelmsford Round Table
June 2009 - The Testicle Tour 2009 Annual BIG Event.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GIVE US FEEDBACK FROM THE TALKS OR HAVE ANY QUESTIONS , PLEASE CONTACT US BY EMAIL
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Past Events:-
Wednesday 12th November - Blimey, The Testicle Tour boys were back at Colchester Institute again! Surely we deserve our own designated parking space now? We spoke to the New Approach and Work Preparation Year 2 students. Some of the teachers said they had never known them so quiet, of course we hope this was because they were listening intently to our talk and not bored out of their skulls. Richard thought it was because Darren didn't let them get a word in! All the students got involved and it was nice to see lots of questions being asked by the students, particularly the girls, at the end. Thanks to Janet Ireland and Brenda Wells for inviting us and also to Tracey "the Scouser" for making us feel welcome and brewing us up a nice cup of coffee, shame there were no pink wafers. Thanks to all the students for listening and taking part and just remember, keep an eye on your balls!
Tuesday 11th November - Wendy and Tim, the landlords of The Apple Tree in Little Clacton kindly held a quiz night on Tuesday 11th November to raise monies for The Testicle Tour and Everyman. What a fantastic night had by all. There were 10 teams in total and the rivalry was fierce. Darren's team "The Womble Warriors" got second place ( Darren's not used to coming second! ) and Richard's team "Cull de Sac" (good scrotum reference!) came 9th. Not last he was relieved to hear! The winning team were "4 blokes and 2 birds" so a huge congratulations to them. As well as the quiz there was a raffle and an auction to raise money. Although times are hard and there is a credit crunch on, we would like to say how overwhelmed we were by everyone's generosity. Overall we raised a whopping £301.08 for Everyman, a huge amount! The highlight of the evening was surely the headmaster of the village school, Doug Brown, showing everyone how to carry out an correct examination of the testicles, see photo below. Please note the testicles in question are a model and not the real thing. Well done to little John, Tom Blowers and Doug for volunteering for the testicle examination, it take some balls to get up and show others how they play with their plums. Lastly thanks to everyone who took part and a huge thanks to Wendy and Tim for arranging the quiz night and for supplying all the prizes for the raffle and auction. If you want a great fun night out with a friendly welcoming atmosphere, then go and see Wendy and Tim at The Apple Tree in Little Clacton. They even sell Nobby's Nuts! ( well you didn't expect them to sell Darren's Nut did you?)
Doug checking his plums... Tim and Wendy checking each other for lumps!
Friday 7th November - The Testicle Tour boys were invited back by the Colchester Institute to do a further talk to students on the Gateway Programme. We are receiving excellent feedback from students and teachers alike and we truly hope that every lad we speak to goes home and starts checking themselves, although a few of the lads today wanted to check themselves straightaway in the classroom! It's nice to see them so keen, however we didn't want them getting detention and writing a hundred lines of "I must not get my b*ll*cks out in class".
Thanks to Brenda Wells for inviting us and to all the students and teachers present for receiving us so warmly. Special mention must go to the students and teachers who gladly posed in the wacky thongs to promote next years "Charity Thong Day".
Today was different to the other talks at Colchester Institute as afterwards we were invited back to the staff room for a coffee (champagne and caviar would have been nice ). Please take note other teachers, this has not happened before and from now on we will only do a talk if coffee and pink wafers are served afterwards. That's not too much to ask is it? One of the teachers was talking to Darren about his sperm banking episode in London ( buy the book to find out more about his hilarious experience ) and asked him "Was it hard?" Not a difficult question to answer and almost as good as a certain persons question about whether it's best to check yourself before or after a w*nk. We don't know, these teachers eh? However at least we left the staff room with a smile our on faces.
Thursday 30th October - The Testicle Tour boys attended the Everyman Annual Event at the Football Association Headquarters. We were excited about attending such a prestigious event and venue and we were hoping we would see some famous people. We weren't disappointed as within 5 minutes of taking our seats in reception, Brian Barwick ( CEO of the FA ) sat down right near us. Richard didn't have a clue who he was, but Darren the football fanatic spotted him straightaway. It was a fantastic evening and we met lots of other Everyman supporters and fundraisers. We even tapped up some fellow one ballers to help out with next years big event in 2009. The big highlight of the evening, apart from the free food and drink of course, was receiving an award from Everyman for the "most innovative fundraisers" for 2008. We were well chuffed. We were also chuffed that we were able to have our photo done with the FA Cup, yes the FA Cup. We spotted actor Marc Moroghan (Owen) from Holby City mingling about. We were going to ask him if he checked his balls regularly but of course he's a Doctor so he must do! Overall a brilliant night and our thanks go to all the staff at Everyman for inviting us to share in their success of 2008. Long live Everyman and the Institute of Cancer Research.
Sunday 19th October - Darren, Richard and their families joined the rest of the Everyman supporters at the filming of the ITV music special 'Here Come The Boys' raising awareness to testicular cancer. The show was presented by Holly Willoughby and included performances from Sir Tom Jones, Seal, Enrique Iglesias, Will Young, Boyzone and Scouting for Girls. We were welcomed with a champagne reception with representatives from all the major charities and had a fantastic time. The show will be aired on 30th November and you never know, you might catch a glimse of us in the audience!
Tuesday 14th October - Darren and Richard were invited back by Hayley White to talk to the year 2 Pre-Foundation group at Clacton College (Colchester Institute). Hayley told us that the previous talk we did went down really well and that all the students were talking about bollocks and balls. This is fantastic and makes the talks all worthwhile. Some of the students posed in thongs to promote "The Charity thong day" planned for next year and all the students and staff are very keen to get this day a must in the college's calendar. Thanks again to Hayley, all the students and the other teachers present, Sarah, Penny and Bill. The thongs you see on the students were kindly donated by Bill, top man. Hopefully we will be back by popular demand and we have even had an invite by "Student Voice" to perhaps do something at the college's Christmas Fayre.
Monday 13th October - The Testicle Tour boys were invited to do a talk for The Ipswich Lions and friends. We were made to feel very welcome and we would like to thank all those present for getting involved and taking on board our talk about the importance of self-examination. Thanks to Big Philly and his lovely girlfriend Sarah for being such good sports in the Mr & Mrs Quiz. To Adrian and Kevin for showing everyone how to examine a false pair of testicles, Joe and Maggie for letting us take the mick out of Joe's visit to strip clubs ( only joking ). Sorry we can't mention you all, only our memories are crap and we can't remember all your names. However, all those present made it an excellent night. We even had chips and sandwiches after we had finished talking bollocks. Just glad it wasn't meatballs and cocktail sausages. A big thanks to Steve Browne of The Lions for kindly inviting us and also a huge thanks to all The Ipswich Lions for their kind donation of £100 towards our charity. The cheque was presented to us by The Ipswich Lions President Bill Murton.
Thursday 9th October - Colchester Institute (Pre Foundation Work Prep) welcomed Darren and Richard for their comical Testicle Talk today. Lots of laughs were heard right down the corridor and as ever, we got some strange looks walking through the College with our pink furry balls ! Thanks to Karen Hosier for organising this and the other Tutors present. After one of the lads mentioned about having a w@#~ in the bath, one of the Tutors asked what was by far the funniest question we've heard anywhere "So should the lads check themselves before or after a w@#~?". Hilarious!! She went very red...aided by Darren and Richard of course!
The Testicle Tour presented a fund-raising idea to the group. End of term next June, all students pay £1 and wear a pair of the wackiest pants, thongs or knickers they can find. This will not only raise monies for Everyman, but it keeps our testicular cancer awareness message in the students minds. Watch this space for more details.
Thursday 2nd October 2008 - Darren and Richard visited the Pre-Foundation group at Clacton College (Colchester Institute) in the morning to give the Testicle Tour Talk to the students there. We were made to feel very welcome by Hayley White who invited us, other staff and all the students. What a great bunch ! with lots of questions, jokes and involvement from everyone. We had the most questions fired at us from any of the talks so far !
Friday 26th September 2008 - Darren and Richard travelled to London to present the Everyman male cancer campaign with a cheque for funds raised so far. Just short of the £5,000 target, but with more funds to come over the next couple of months to smash through this very easily !! Thanks to all the guys for making us feel welcome and to Dominique for inviting us out for her leaving drinks - good luck in your new job for Comic Relief and for all your support throughout the last few months !! Also thanks to David for taking the pictures.
Thursday 25th September 2008 - Many thanks to Clacton Rotary Club and in particular Norman Byford for inviting Darren to talk a load of balls. Darren was made to feel very welcome and thoroughly enjoyed talking to all the members present. He particularly enjoyed the three course lunch of soup, roast leg of lamb and apple crumble and custard, which he never eats at home due to the rising costs of food and the credit crunch. Thanks to Dr Dick Farrow and Dominic Bowers of the Clacton Gazette for taking part in the fun quiz "True or What a Load of Balls" and for John Holt who manfully grabbed the testicle model in front of all his fellow Rotarians, which takes some balls! Thanks also to the Rotarians who donated monies to the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign and to those who purchased a copy of Darren's book.
Rotarian and ex-head of Colbayns John Holt practiscing on the testicle model, closely watched by fellow Rotarian and retired Doctor Dick Farrow, who seems to be gesturing that he should be grasping them more firmly (Left)
Rotarian Norman Byford was only too pleased to pose with the testicle model and show his fellow members the correct way to check ones testicles (Right)
Monday 15th September 2008 - Darren gets a mention in a metro.co.uk article !!
Monday 8th September 2008 - New Testicle Tour 2008 © compilation video published on YouTube and Facebook
September 2008 - Chicks With Balls Calendar - "One Lump or Two?" is being featured on the home page of the "Chicks with balls calendar 2009 " which is being produced in aid of the "Everyman Male cancer campaign" who Darren and Richard have been raising money for on the Testicle Tour. The Testicle Tour boys support The Chicks With Balls Calendar and urge everyone to visit the website and buy a copy of the calendar at Christmas to help raise much needed funds for Everyman.
Friday 5th September 2008 - Colbayns High School - Testicle Tour Talk !!
Darren and Richard visited Colbayns High school, in Clacton on sea on Friday 5th September to talk to the new 6th form intake about Testicular Cancer, continuing the humourous theme around this subject with the serious message behind it. We were made to feel very welcome by Nick Farrow, other staff and all the pupils. We had a great time !!. A Facebook Group has been set up for the Pupils to discuss the subject (serious stuff AND humour!!) and if we see anything good we can pinch it for our future events !!! We even raised £87 for Everyman - very generous guys, thanks !!
Monday 1st September 2008 - Darren had a small part (and not for the first time) in a feature on cancer in BBC's "The One Show"
Friday 29th August 2008 - The Testicle Tour charity cricket fundraiser for Everyman
On a warm sunny afternoon Darren and Richard's team (The Gonads!) took on a team from Clacton Cricket Club to help raise money for the Everyman male cancer campaign. We raised a total of £273 for the cause. The Gonads evntually won the game, however the main thing was everyone who took part and watched thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Darren felt quite at home bowling, having just the one ball in his hand! Check out the Facebook Group for full details, photos and comments. Many thanks to Gary Kirk, Steve Nippress for the photos. Matt the all important Bar man and Darren Critchell. Also thanks to everyone who played and those who came to support us.
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Friday 29th August 2008 - "One Lump or Two" wins the AmazonClicks.Com Readers Choice award for August 2008! Thanks to everyone who voted !! www.amazonclicks.com Also see online article for Clacton Gazette.
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July 2008 - Darren was invited to the Clacton Round Table monthly meeting to talk to the chaps about their balls! A great evening. Fun had by all and thanks again to the chaps for sponsoring the Testicle Tour !
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The Testicle Tour - Media Coverage links from the tour itself !
This is not exhaustive as we featured in many more local publications which we do not have links to unfortunately.
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Wednesday 25th June 2008 - Darren on "This Morning" with Phil & Fern
The YouTube Testicle Tour introduction video with Darren & Richard
Click here for more details of The Testicle Tour
Friday 13th June 2008 - Darren Interviewed on Look East (with Richard in the background). The furry pink balls become famous!!